Mike Emil took some time this Easter Sunday to speak out from behind the front door of his house (which due to legal actions we are not at liberty to discuss the exact location of)in angry shouts. The reclusive author and anti-John Denver-ite spoke immediately against the Animal Planet channel and their new pseudo-documentry about dragons: "What's this crap? Patrick Stewart is just as bald on screen as he is off screen doing narration to this crap about 'real' dragons! What the hell is TV coming to? Huh? I mean there's like 70 channels of garbage on to watch and now they're making up things about imaginery--no! Mythological creatures!"
"Why don't they take all this CGI crap and make some stupid fantasy movie or something, like Doctor Who? I don't wanna hear Captain Baldo going on about dragons like they're fucking real! It's all escapism! I mean, my gawd! People are fucking dumb the way it is! You go and put this crap on a frickin' learning channel and these dumbasses will be thinking there ARE fucking dragons! I hate everyone. And I hate John Denver."
"I hate the history channel, and discovery, and HAL 9000, thousand and that bullshit with Titan. And Denver. I hate him! And I hate this chair! This damn leather keeps sticking to my skin. I hate that! Where's my drink...Oh, damn. I spilt it! I hate doing that. Ahhhh!"
"This blanket is nice though. Must be cotton. Am I alergic? Dunno. Don't remember. where's my drink?"

We the staff at 'Once & Future...' would like to point both that we hold no ill will toward John Denver or his family, and that we are not entirely sure that author Mike Emil was sober when we took notes at his doorstep of this latest rant...Also we are unjsure as to whether or not Mike Emil is indeed off his New Year's Eve drinking bing or has proceeded onto yet another alcohol experiment in gluttony. We are fairly sure (although not certain) that the reclusive writer did not hear our bashings at his front door and was in fact talking to his television set the whole time we were 'interviewing' him as he did not take the time to verbally abuse us and throw us off the premises as per usual.

Until next time...
- posted by Anonymous @ 3/27/2005 07:10:00 PM