Nuu book by Mike Emil- 'Love, Sex, and Empty Pockets'

What if they ran outta water mid-terraform... you'd have Terraforming Mars, The Kapes Experiment? -OR- Terriforming Mars the Fun Way [cliffnotes to Terraforming Mars, The Kapes Experiment, by Mike Emil]?

The Ballad of Hotdog Soup
By Mike Emil
as sung by Butch to 'The Ballad of Jed Clampett'



*Finch* {Nuu! Tell us the story about hotdog soup again!}
*Butch* {OK, gather round everybody}

Come and listen to a story sung by a man named Ted
'bout a poor mailman, called Unkle Emil. Boy, he could make the bread!
An' then one day, he was cookin' at the Eagles
An' into his pot he boiled three pound of beagles
Hotdogs that is! Oscar Mayer! Freeland franks! (Hey!)

Well, He cooked 'em up in a kettle filled with Budweiser
An' planned to serve 'em up with mustard -n- Kaiser
The first wiener ate, or pullin' his finger made Chooch Tepko sick
Amid all the stench the other guys called to Emil, "You Prick!"
Mule-dick that is! You prick you! Trouser ghosts...

Ol' Chef Onion needed to do some rethinkin'. So he went to the can.
An' when he came back from his leak he hadn't washed his hands.
Well, his mind was still quite full. So, he thought to take a poop-
While reminisin', it dawned on him- He'd make it into soup!
Soup, that is? Hotdog delicacy? Fluffy surprise!

Well, Unkle Emil went back to the kitchen. Lordy what a mess
who'll eat all these hotdogs- Oh, that is unless...
With an onion and a smile, Emil resolved to save the dish
Tomatoes, tomato soup, an' tomato juice will make it all de-lish!
Hotdog Soup that's it! Have a bowl. No lawsuits!
Y'all come back for seconds, hear?!

*Finch* {Narr! That story always makes me hungry!}
*Butch* {Me too! I don't eat you know. Wait min'nut- everything makes you hungry!}
*to Kyle* {Set course for Freeland, warp Ted}
*Kyle* {ee-you... I mean aye-aye cap'an Teddy!}
(roll end credits)
*Butch* {I'd jump thru a hoop to eat hotdog soup, I'm Ted-dy the metric-man! ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh... me mean To-ho-ho}

- posted by raymond @ 9/07/2004 06:01:00 PM