In a recent and surreal interview from his back deck, Mike Emil expounded with much enthusiasm his planned new book and consequent tour of college campuses across the US and parts of Tijuana "just for the tequila." The book called “The Quick and the Burnt" he explained was “really a cross between my love of Delmonico steaks, ya know with the Chef Dom spice all over it. But no crushed red pepper. I fucking hate crushed red pepper. One time this guy was over and I let him man the grill. What a fucking nightmare! The bastard poured the stuff all over my steak. I ended up just eating the salad. That prick! But Dom’s good stuff,” the well intoxicated numismatist continued along this line of thought citing the use of beer when baking potatoes to be of the utmost importance and that he was currently studying ancient Indian coinage more in depth then he had the previous week before falling into a curious silence where he sipped his vodka and cranberry juice and then hummed. What significance this had to his upcoming book and tour is unclear, and that apparently amused Mr. Emil.
After a long pause and another round of drinks Emil was reminded of the subject of his new book and tour plans. Famed porn enthusiast Emil said, “What?” He went on after substantial prodding of his own memory to continue with, “Oh yeah! It’s Delmonicos and spice, er, um…seasoned salt? I was thinking how great it would have been to have Mary Carey for governor. Yummmm. I’d season her salt!”
The swaying author referred to the not too recent Californian race for Governor won by movie star Arnold Schwartzeneger-heimer, in which porn star and recent strip club arrestie Mary Carey flung her, um hat into the ring as a potential candidate coming in in the top ten of the numerous bids for the position.

Porn Star Mary Carey Arrested

After further reminder of the subject matter at hand, Emil reconsidered his earlier points and completely denied saying them. “There are absolutely no correlations between Delmonicos and the ‘Burnt’ thing. I never. Read never burn my steaks. Well, yeah, OK. I do. So then I drink and eat them anyway. That’s it. That’s what it’s all about. Life is like steak. Delmonico and Porterhouse too. If ya cook it quick, it burns and then ya gotta drink. And hey, who doesn’t like to tour colleges? All that boozin’ and the little honeys. Ya say my name and zip! Hey your glass is empty. Time fer shots,” insisted the inebriated and unusually jovial author of “Killing Antz the Fun Way.”

We wish author Mike Emil all the best on his new book, “The Quick and the Burnt,” and it’s accompanying college tour. We will keep you updated on tour dates and all the latest news of Mike Emil.

Cambodians mark start of genocide

In an unrelated conversation, but during the same social interview with spelunker and author Mike Emil, the writer had comments to make about the recent Cambodian anniversary of the atrocities of the Khmer Rouge from the late 70’s. “Spadling Grey was in that flick, …the Fields, uh, yeah. That bastard walked right into the drink. Bastard! …Lucky bastard! He owed me money; no I owed him money, I think. Well yer not getting, Spald-um, uh.” The notorious John Denver dissenter then smacked his lips, mumbled something inaudible and proceeded to make two more shooters, which consequently ended the interview.
- posted by Anonymous @ 4/21/2005 04:26:00 AM 0 comments